PMS - Survival tips


PMS - Survival tips
Level: B1
American English

Work on your listening comprehension skills and have fun watching this video:



If that doesn't work, use this link

After watching once or twice, answer the following questions:

1 Karen wants to know if Howard
a) likes her clothes.
b) finds her fatter.
c) thinks she’s too thin.

2 Fill in the gap with a synonym of small:
PMS, a time when even a ____________ lapse in home etiquette can be fatal.

3 Fill in the gap with a synonym of looked for.
We scientists have ____________ a cure.

4 Scientists have found a cure to PMS.
a) True
b) False

5 Transmogrification is
a) changing into a different form or appearance.
b) the name of the three-step strategy devised by scientists to fight PMS.
c) creating a calendar to foresee changes in your wife’s behaviour.

6 Howard suggests
a) a hot bath and a morsel.
b) a hot bath and a massage.
c) only a massage.




ANSWER KEY
b) finds her fatter.
2 tiny
searched for
4 False
a) changing into a different form or appearance.
b) a hot bath and a massage.



TRANSCRIPT

- Come on, get it in, shoot!

My fellow men, how many times has THIS happened to YOU?

- Howard, have I gained weight?
- What? Er… No! Not at all, honey. You’re beautiful, but please, I’m watching the big game.
- Oh… Sorry

[She comes back in the form of a monster and pulls his head off]

Yes, men. We’ve all seen it. We all fear PMS: Prehistoric Monster Syndrome. Yes: PMS, a time when even a tiny lapse in home etiquette can be fatal. Do not become a statistic. These are the facts:

[Graph showing percentages]

For years we scientists have searched for a cure but success still eludes us. In the mean time we can armour ourselves with these helpful survival tips:

Keep a calendar
A calendar is very important in knowing when the next cycle of transmogrification is likely to occur.

Recognize key questions
‘Do you still love me?’, ‘Am I still pretty?’, ‘Why can’t you be like Brad Pitt?’ Or any close variation. BE ON GUARD.

Soothe the beast within
Soothing the best within remains a dangerous but many times successful solution.


Now let’s see these tips in action:

- Howard, have I gained weight?
- Ah!
- What are you doing? 
- Karen, would you like to have a hot bath while I massage your back?
- What? Why?
- Because I love you and I am the luckiest man in the world.
- Oh! Howard! I love you…

Yes, another crisis narrowly averted thanks to science. So be alert and use these safety precautions at all times. They just might save your skin.